How I Ended Up On The Air Canada Centre Ice (also: Toronto Maple Leafs 3, Buffalo Sabres 2)

That's me in the spotlight, losing my re...wait, wrong reference. But that really is me in the spotlight!

This is a story all about how my night got flip-turned upside down. I went to tonight's Leaf game with a motley crew whose number included one Robert the Bruce, erstwhile housemate at 396 Johnson. He and I were walking into the Air Canada Centre when a girl named Patrice approached us.

Her, to me: "Are you a hockey player?"

Me, slightly confused: "I've never played a game in my life."

Her: "Oh, that's too bad. Because I was gonna ask if you wanted to do a promotion..."

...which is how it began, and which is how, at the ten-minute mark of the second period, Robert the Bruce and I left our perch high above the ACC and made our way back to the main entrance. I'd explained to Patrice that of course I'd played hockey--I'd just never played on an actual team. She, in turn, had me fill out a waiver, the upshot of which was I'd be participating in a promotion during the second intermission. On the Air Canada Centre ice.

The prize itself is irrelevant. I was gonna be on the ice at the ACC! And after the second period, with the Leafs nursing a 2-1 lead over the visiting Buffalo Sabres, I was led along with two other contestants out onto the ice--I was introduced as "Steve from Thunder Bay," which is basically true--and down to the far end (the lonely end?) of the rink. Our task: aim five pucks at seven different targets. The middle one, which was also the furthest away, was worth ten points; the rest were worth either nothing or three. The person with the most points would be the winner. So there I was on the Air Canada Centre ice, hockey stick-with-an-illegal-curve in hand, ready to fire. How'd I do? Glad you asked!

Shot #1: BAM, right through the middle target. Ten points!

Shot #2: BAM, right through the middle target. Twenty points!

Shot #3: right through the middle target. Thirty points! Suddenly I'm 3/3 and feeling confident.

Shot #4: wide right (in honour of Buffalo Bills legend Scott Norwood!). Thirty points.

Shot #5: wide...uh, left, I think? Still, I'd wound up with thirty points...and did I mention I was on the Air Canada Centre ice during intermission of a Leaf game??? The next contestant amassed--I think--six points; the final shooter nailed one of their five shots, but the rest went wide of the mark. I'd won! And I was in a spotlight on the Air Canada Centre ice in front of 19,000 people! The three of us were then escorted to the bowels of the ACC, where I filled out a form and accepted...a spot on the Leafs' second penalty killing unit. Just kidding! I'd actually won a thousand free ETR kilometers, which I'll donate to someone else. Like I said, the prize itself is irrelevant. I can promise you I'll never have a better second intermission than tonight's.

Oh: and the Leafs won, too, the first time they've beat Buffalo in all the times I've seen the two teams play.